"Pray It Won't Fade Away"

I have figured out that writing helps me to deal with things. Its funny that it took me 27 years to figure that out....haha! So pretty much if I start to ramble just amuse me because it makes me feel better. =0)

Dr. Update:

Just to let everyone know, that has asked about my recent dr appointment everything is ok. The dr. could find absolutely no reason for the miscarriage. No chromosomal abnormalities, no problems with the placenta, and no problems with any lab values. My dr. said that he had looked through everything and could find absolutely nothing. He said that every once in awhile something happen naturally like this and there is no reason why it should have happen. I told the dr. it sounds strange but I was kind of relieved that nothing was "wrong." I knew this was God plan and it made me smile to know that my baby was healthy. He laughed at me and told me that most people want an answer, reasons why, but me and Dustin had the right attitude about things. I hope he is right about that..=0)..He wants me and Dustin to wait a couple months and then talk to him about trying again, which everyone knows my concerns with this. He did reassure me that he would see me every week to make me feel more comfortable. He is such a wonderful, wonderful, person. It is amazing what difference having a Christian dr. makes. I still need a lot of pray to get me through making this decision. I know we want more children but making the right decisions about when is the problem. My HG levels (hormones) are still elevated so I am having to go to the dr once a week to get everything regulated. Hopefully they will go back to normal soon.

People have been asking us if we are going to do anything special in memory of the baby. We decided the day we lost the baby that we would have a memorial angel inscribed with the name Halo placed on my grandmother's grave. Anyone who knew my grandmother Carylon are probably smiling righ now. She was the leader of the Walker County Pro-Life Coalition years ago. She fought with every breath she had in her to make abortion illegal. She also co-founded the Master's Plan which was an abortion alternation agency. As my mom said, "She loved unborn babies more then she loved herself." This is the truest statement I have ever heard. My grandmother lost her battle to cancer 12 years ago. Me and Dustin decided to be buried beside her years ago so we thought it was only fitting to but up a memorial in honor of our Halo on her grave. We are still looking for just the right statue. I will post pictures when we find it.

I am also going to get my first tattoo..I know, I know, tattoos. I said I would never get one unless I knew that it was something I wanted for the rest of my life. My artist friend, Jessica Lackey, ..=0) is designing it for me.She is a wonderful friend of 22 years and God has blessed her with a talent that is amazing. I wanted to use some of the words from the song Halo for my tattoo.

Standing in the light of your Halo

I got my angel now

Baby I can feel your Halo

Pray it won't fade

25th, 2009

Thanks again for everyone that have been praying for us. We still need your prayers. I know God wants me to use my experience to help other. That is something I know, but how only time will tell.